As the summer fades.

I was struck by a blast from the past today. Looking back at very old pictures, seeing myself during that time where I had struggled the most. I have mixed emotions about it, for some reason I am digusted, yet I wish my past was inside my present. So here it goes, since anyone reading this probably has no idea what I'm saying. I went through a hard time in my life, bascially I call it my anorexia-phase. I saw a picture today of myself when I used to never eat and hate the way I look, and when I saw it, I was appauled. How could I have believed I was fat looking the way I did? I was BONES. And yet, I still kind of wish I was. I'm an extremely tough critic on myself, and no matter what, nothing seems to be good enough. I don't see myself as thin, I see myself as "there is always room for improvement," which I know is bad, but it's something I have always thought. I see myself differently then the rest of the world does, and I guess it's more of a struggle then I thought it was. Or more like it's not as gone as it seemed to be.



no sunlight, no sunlight.