My heart longs to sing - Steubenville West 2008

How does one go about finding the perfect words to describe the most spiritual moment in their life? There is no better feeling then knowing that you are completely consumed with God's love. Steubenville, is a turning point in my life. I no longer am in fear. I no longer have doubt. This weekend was my reminder and my reassurance.

The weekend began a little shakey. First off we we're headed on our way to Arizona at around 7am. At about 8-8:20 am, 2 of the wheels from our bus roll right out from underneath, which ended up setting us back more then 2 hours. The second bus arrived(which ended up being a party bus with a stripper pole included hahaha) and we were back on our way. I believe the trip lasted about 14 hours. The time of arrival was a good portion of time already into the first nights events. This night was the night to give you that push to begin to open your heart to him, but since the girls missed that, we approached the next day differently and a little discouraged. Looking back on it now, missing the first night wasn't as big of a let down as I believed it to be. I believe that if I went to adoration that night I wouldn't have approached it like I did the 2nd night. More then anything I didnt feel like I was even prepared for Friday night, so I used that time to prepare for what lay ahead on Saturday. In the meantime, Friday was used for our first "Girl Talk" which made up for the event that had happend previously in the day. Totally worth only getting 3 hours of sleep for.

GOOD MORNING TUCSON ARIZONA!THIS MORNING AT 7AM WILL BE A BEAUTIFUL 85 DEGREES!Saturday started off with praise and worship with none other then MATT MAHER my future husband. Man can he sing. Continued the morning with Mass then women's session which blew my mind. I've never had such a signifcant sex talk in my entire life. It changed my whole outlook on my life and how I'm going to go about things involving relationships in the future. WOW. Still can remember it all. So all the females finished up and headed to lunch where we all decided what to do for the remaining time before the night session. BOOKSTORE&ENTERTAINMENT. Bought a MATT MAHER shirt and went over for the Roman Collar Comedy thing, which was funny, but put me to sleep. We all went our seperate ways from there, Kev, Andrew, and I went to Family&Marriage. The first session which was family didnt really hit me that much, I tried to relate but at the same time we were late to the session so I must of missed something. Then we headed over to the Marriage session. WOW again. I liked that one alot. I've never seen to indiviudals so in love with each other and in love with Christ. Seeing them gave me so much motivation for my future. I have higher goals for myself and I'm really glad we went to that session.(Ephesians 5:25-27) AMEN.

6:30 pm and again 85 degrees outside.We made our way back to the main auditorium for the night session. More praise&worship! :D Matt Maher=] Then we had a speaker before we went into adoration, and I hate to say this, but I fell asleep while he was talking. I really regret all the sleeping I did during the speeches over the weekend but i was running on 3 hours of sleep each day. I payed as much attention as I could and retained most of what I caught before I fell asleep. After that we went into sort of a pre-adoration thing. Everyone went around hugging each other and showing their appreciation towards one another. THIS is where I saw God. I didn't see him in the Eucharist as much as I saw him around me inside of each and every person in that room. Being prayed for by the chaperones or just opening up to my peers, That in itself is where I saw God, and that was the turning point for the weekend. Adoration was Silent. At first I was kind of confused, normally when we do Adoration we have music going on and everyone is crying and a big emotional sea of feelings comes pouring out of everybody. Not tonight. Tonight was silent. As we got into I started to appreciate the silence more. I wasn't crying, or thinking hysterically for what words to say, but I was actually having a conversationg with God. The silence was calming in its own way, I felt like there was more time to gather my thoughts and even though some people enjoy how we normally go about Adoration, I found this way much more sufficient. Only thing I would change is less time. I was done a good 20 minutes before we finished the night session, but all in all I wouldnt trade it for anything.The night session ended with photos and distrubution of the Steubenville soundtrack. Ladies headed back to the dorm for GIRL TALK. Girl Talk, how do I explain this. I am very thankful that we all came up with the idea to have it. Taking turns to get to know one another. I feel like I can trust all the girls in GL more then I ever could have before and it was all thanks to the Girl Talk =] NEXT TIME WE NEED TO INVITE JILL AND KIRSTEN!

Woke up, showered, packed, and headed to breakfast by 6:30am.more eggs, more golden grahams.Right after breakfast we broke into Mens and Womens sessions.This one kind of disappointed me, don't get me wrong, it was still a very good talk, but I didnt feel as moved as I had the previous day, but all in all it was still a very good talk. The boys met us in the Auditorium for the finals events of the conference. Then, MATT MAHER again. Never gets old. Then the first mass I've ever been excited to attend. That was the most uplifiting and spiritual mass I've been too. Before we started, someone had said "Act like this is the last Mass you will ever go to." So I had that mind frama going into it and it was beautiful. We had an amazing priest. He kept things alive and not boring, I was really interested in what he had to say. A great way to finish out the conference. My blessings are also with Paula, Mike, Rogue, and Steve, the members of our youth group who are considering following Christ by becoming Sisters, Deacons, or even Priests. Way to go guys! We left the auditorium, grabbed our sack lunches then GL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. Headed on our way home back to California, which surprisingly took HALF the time to get home then to get there >.<

Sleep, Gin, and Sharing as our bus ride came to an end.I didn't get to say everything I would have liked to while sharing, but I just wanted to thank everyone again.The chaperones, GL, and Liwanag. This weekend really opened my heart as well as my mind and I am so grateful that I got to share the experience with all of you, so thank you all again from the bottom of my heart.