Cupid stuck me with a SICKNESS.

I give up. Really, because what is the point in having hope when all signs point to NOTHING GOOD WILL COME. It's false hope. It's a lie. I have nothing to hold on for anymore, I was just too ignorant to realize it. Too busy HOPING. What is the point of hope really? When really, hope is what destroys us all. What I do believe, is proof, and facts. Thats a problem of mine. I take words and twist them, taking a rejection and forming it into FALSE hope. I'm too tall, too YOUNG, not pretty enough, not THIN enough, the list goes on. I can think of 100 different flaws in myself, and turn them into an excuse. THE THING IS, I shouldn't have to make excuses! Even when I'm in a situation full of them, I don't give up, I continue to work around the fact that I'm making excuses or the fact that I should have given up a long time ago. THOSE are the facts I need to take to heart. I'm sick of letting myself get this far, EVEN WHEN I know it all ends the same way. Always. So here I am, hands in the sky. I give up again, because if I just continued feeling the way I do now, I would just be a pathetic victim of false hope. Again.

Do you want love or do you want fame?

Being involved is overrated.
I dont think I've ever been this stressed out in my life. I dont ask for help because I can't rely on other people to get the job done, even though it might be a little easier on myself, In a way it just adds more stress because I have to worry about if the job is getting done. This is what I get for wanting to change the world.




The first step on the long stressful journey ahead of me.