just dance.

my blogs will be happy when things start looking up.
I have too much hope, and set myself up easily for failure.

they say its not my fault
but I know better, i just chose to accept it.









won't speak unless its something worth sayin.

Oh, I want you to know, but then again I dont.

so complicated

i'm so frustrated

i wanna hold you close, i wanna push you awayi wanna make you go....... i wanna make you stay.
should i say it? should i tell you how i feel?
Oh, I want you to know, but then again I dont.
it's so complicated.


Oh, it's so confusing, Yeah, I wish you'd just confess. But think of what I'd be losing, If your answer wasn't yes.

I may have lost my way now

I think it's hilarious when in long run, I end up being right.
Previous blogs: Taken for granted.
Situation:Friend is mad over nothing, and doesnt care to talk it out
Addtional info: Friend is like a family member to me, and no matter how much shit they say about me or all the times the flake or are just flat out rude to me, I never hold it against them.
Why: Because I'm a good friend, and I dont let trivial situations get in the way.


All I know is, I wish I wasn't right about this.
Life is getting more and more complicated and honestly, I'm questioning the real reason to live nowadays.
NOW dont freak out people, I'm not suicidal, goodness gracious.
I'm just taking steps back and looking at the universal picture and whatnot.

I'm just unmotivated.
keep on keepin on.







Haven't forgot my way home

I got bruises on my knees for you.

Sorry if my blog posts are necessarily the most upbeat or spirit-lifting things you've ever read. I made this to vent. I plan on venting in about 10 seconds, which will probably just be a bunch of angry things that are on my mind, so if you're up for it, then continue reading

WHY is it that I am the key target of taking someone for granted. I swear, if there was a list or something I'm pretty sure I would be at the top of almost everybody's. How can you act like you're having such a good time, then not too long later say something to flush it all into a downward spiral? WHAT makes me not good enough for people? WHAT makes me any different? I've taken so much of this from so many people, but what gives them the right? Apparently, being nice to people, making friends, and doing nothing but good things means that I get everything bad in return. No you say? WELL THAT'S HOW I FEEL. A majority of the time people talk to me it feels like it's more to satisfy their need of eliminating boredom rather then them actually ACTUALLY caring about what I did today. Because I sure as hell care when I ask someone how their day was. Yeah, I'm not the most outgoing person you've ever met in your life, but should people really hold that against me? What have I done to acquire such a title as "You can take her for granted." You know what, you might as well too, because it seems like everyone else doesn't have a problem doing it.

there.







but frozen things, they all unfreeze.

When I remind myself I can't get to you

That last line from my previous blog got me thinking. It is definately not an understatement when I refer to myself as a big dreamer. Sometimes I wonder how it is even possible for me to focus. I've got the biggest case of daydream one can have. I'm constantly wondering off and lose focus and just before I float off into dreamland, I snap back. It's always nice to think of what the outcomes in your life maybe. I know for certain that I would much rather dream up and fake, yet happy life to live then be stuck here in my reality. But what is the difference between never waking up from a dream and death? The one thing that I would like the most and what I fear the most seem so similar from this point of view. Just my luck, only one of the two options are avalible.



"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death." - Leonardo Da Vinci

Wouldn't it be nice.

It is nice. I think it's a pretty good feeling to have a confidence boost every once in a while. Not the kind that blows up your ego to the size of a balloon, but just enough to where you know people are thinking that you're a pretty cool person. Your timing is perfect. Just when I feel like I'm almost absolutely invisible, the smallest comment from someone just raises my spirits ten times higher. Maybe I'm more visible then I think, if only the people I want to see could see me the same way. Yeah, I'm a big dreamer.





I won't regret saying this, this thing that I'm saying

How do we reverse the chemistry?

To have a friendship, you need 50% from each person, you have to meet them half way with it, otherwise it is just a one-sided effort. Story of my life. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people no. I hate to see people sad, upset, etc. So I do what I can to try to cheer them up or just make their day a little better, but why is it that when the tables are turned, there are only a few people who would return the gesture? After everything, how could you not give a care at all? I'm bemused. Honestly, I feel like all that I do is just a waste of time. Yeah, I do get the satisfaction that I've done something good for someone, but you can only give so much, and to recieve the same thing once in a while, is that too much to ask for? But I guess this just shows someone's true colors, and maybe I've been wasting my time and effort for too long now.





take my hands out of control.